Due to finances seeing a specialist for IUI treatment is on hold indefinitely. . . as are clomid treatments since the doctor visit is $200 a cycle.
Right now I am on cycle day 11. . . praying that I will ovulate again naturally.
I am starting to believe that I need to be obedient to God in my diet and exercise before he will grant the desires of my heart (twins/children of my own). I have struggled with this since getting married. . . and thought I could let this struggle fester forever...but then I think of the little details...like giving my husband a hot pregnant wife instead of just a plumper looking wife...or placing God above good tasting food...
Delving into the heart of this struggle will be difficult, but I am confident the Lord will not bless me until I give him this area of my life. It is time. He has healed so many other areas of my life and given me confidence I never thought possible.
I am not sure if he wants me to just begin this journey...or complete it ...but I very much believe that God's desire for my life is for me to be a mother.
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1 comment:
Jess, I feel like such a schmuck! I didn't know you had a blog. I am so blonde! I just started reading, but I just love what you have to say. I feel the exact same as you do with God is in control, and maybe there is something I need to do for me before conceiving. Like losing weight or being more spiritual (which totally crashed into me like a bus 2 nights ago!) I'll tell you more later if you want to know. I just wanted to say that you are loved and I know you are bursting with love for your future children and will get that chance soon. I am praying for you and hoping so badly that you are happy with everything now. With TTC, we get so caught up in everything baby, that we lose sight of what is going on in front of us. I say that speaking for myself, but hopefully it helps. Thinking of you.
Heather
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