I was reading a book for couples going through infertility.
The lady that wrote the book said.. sometimes God has us to strange things..things that don't make sense with our calling or what the desire of our heart is.
She gave the example of God telling Joshua to have the Iseralites walk around the wall of jericho 7 times to win the battle instead of the usual killing spree.
She said that sometimes God asks us to stop medical treatment even tho that doesn't make sense or continue with treatment that hasn't worked before. I need to trust him even if it doesn't make sense to me.
I've been having a hard time with this desire of mine. Every time I think about pregnancy/motherhood I cry...cry really isn't the right word. I ball/weap etc. I feel like there is a wound in my heart that will not heal.
I want God's timing for my children even if thats in forever and a day. . . He knows best...but its so hard. I feel like I am sacrificing every day for the kingdom. That's a selfish outlook I know, but it is how I feel.
It is like someone found out my sore spot and keeps picking at it and picking at it opening the wound more, egging me on. . .
1 comment:
Hey Jess I recently started blogging under a new blog spt called Jackieandtheboys.blogspot.com
Anyways I know God will give you the desires of your heart soon enough. God wants us to bare children but some times its later than sooner, and just think of it as a blessing to have time to get closer to him and to prepare for the gift you will recieve in due time. I will be praying for you though! Love Jackie
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