This morning I feel sad in relation to my fertility... woke up this morning and had another low temp 96.2 ...today is cycle day 14. With the clomid I'm suppose to ovulate by this Sunday...its Thursday. Oh Heavenly father I pray that you bless us with children of our own. I pray that you open my womb and allow us to conceive and give birth to healthy children. Blessed be your name of Jesus! Amen!
I knew that I might have difficulty trying to conceive based on what doctors had said to me when I was younger. . .but in the back of my mind I kept thinking that despite the odds my husband and I would become pregnant on our first cycle trying. I was wrong! What is a little frustrating is that I know God has the power to create life. He alone has this power.
Sometimes I think I just need to pray more and it will happen...but then I read about so many Christian woman who have been trying for 10 years...and I think wow Lord I know that you love them and yet they are still infertile... then I think in ten years if we didn't have biological children I'd be crushed... I have always had a very strong desire to be a mother and I'd be crushed. I know God can change my heart, but I really don't want him to with this... growing up I wanted to be a wife, an attorney, and a mother...I'm a wife and an attorney just waiting on the mother part...
I have a niece and I selfishly just keep thinking why couldn't we have been the one to have a baby...
Then...there are some women who after years of trying conceive only to miscarry or have stillborn children or something terrible... so when I think ok it might happen someday I freak out about these other things... and then wonder how any of us survive or are born...it is such a miracle...God giveth life, God taketh away life....blessed be the Lord! We are all miracles!
God is teaching me that I need to take it one day at a time and not think about the parade of terribles. My own journey is unique and just because good or bad things have happened to other people doesn't mean that good or bad things will happen to me... The Lord has a special plan for my husband and I. I just need to trust that the Lord Jesus knows best.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I just love your heart girl. You are always seeking God through the struggle. I know how you are feeling and am praying for you! Just keep seeking God and know that no matter what the outcome - He will use this trial for good! Remember how much He has provided for you and Jeremy and how blessed you've been amidst the trials of the last couple of years and hold tight to how He brought you through those.
Post a Comment