At the Base of the Mountain

Last week I felt like I was staring at a mountain of laundry...only the "laundry" was my various life struggles- infertility, weight, cleaning habits etc...

I stopped taking the cough syrup because it tasted sooo gross and didn't seem to be working. I didn't ovulate this month. I started taking provera a few days ago.

I stopped doing body for life three days into it. I have yet to take herbs...

Last week I felt like there was no end to the amount of "life laundry" I needed to go through. I was overwhelmed, particuarly with my eating habits. I felt like I kept giving into to my food addictions. I didn't have the self control to stick with something. I knew I needed help outside of myself. I thought...well what do alcoholics do? They go to support meetings. I knew I tried to go to weight watchers with my friend Carrie around two years ago...I stopped going after a month.

Despite the previous failure I felt the need to try...I needed to be around other people that had my problem...and more importantly people that have overcome my problem.

Last Wednesday I went to my first weight watcher meeting. I weighed 260.2 lbs. Even after that meeting I did not commit to the plan until this Monday. I thought that I'd gain weight or stay the same since I've only been doing the plan for three days now.

However, I was tickled when the weigh in lady announced that I had lost 2.6 lbs.

My first goal is to lose 5% of my starting body weight. To meet this goal I need to lose a total of 13 lbs and be 247.2 lbs. . . meaning I need to lose 11ish more lbs.

My next goal after that would be to reach a total loss of 10% of my starting body weight- 26lbs lost, and a weight of 221.2.

There is alot of research showing that losing just 10% of your body weight can provide a TON of health benefits, including increasing fertility. Yeah!


As for our infertility.... Jeremy is still taking fertilaid for men.

I have a consultation on April 29th to discuss laroscopy to rule out endometriosis. I've had so much pain the last few cycles I am starting to think that either I have endometriosis or something else. I pray I don't have it because it would make getting pregnant even more difficult....not anything God can not overcome tho.

We are aiming for IUI in June, depending on when we can do laroscopy.

I'm going to call and make a consultation with the infertility specialist for some time in May. . . to be in line with June...

June for alot of reasons. . . The biggest reason is health. Jeremy and I want to eat healthy for at least 12 consistant weeks. Weight loss is a plus, but is not our primary goal. The second reason is to save money (another thing I've been bad with....) The final reason is I've had peace about June...not necessarily this June, but June...I'm not sure if I'll get pregnant in June, give birth in June of 2010... I just keep thinking June has significance in our journey to have a child/children.... last year I heard very clearly I was going to have kids in June...so the time frame for getting pregnant to have kids this June passed...and I thought God didn't keep his promise... so maybe its this June...or the next June...or maybe I'm just crazy :)

All in all this week is better then last week. I feel like I have finally started to climb the mountain of life laundry.