I am a sick person...I am a person who impulsively cries on hearing a pregnancy announcement. This is news that generally normal human people are happy over. . . and I am. I love babies...
Yet like clockwork each time I hear another pregnancy announcement I cry. I can't help it. It triggers an ache deep within my soul. It crushes my spirit. . . like a kick below the belt. I can't prepare for it.
I have a bandaid covering the hurt most of the time. . . a pregnancy announcement, baby shower, baby like words/news, re-open the wound.
I want so much for it to be my turn to share the "Big News". I want to be pregnant. I want to be the ONE with a beautiful human life or two growing inside of me. Then my mom reminds me that someday, when I am able to share my own news of pregnancy...my news will bring the same pain that others joy brings me now.
Lord Jehovah, please help my first reaction to pregnancy in others to be joy and not sorrow. Help me to be able to look beyond myself and share the joy of my friends and family. Help me to be a blessing to others in ways I would not be if I were a mother myself. Help me to show my husband that I love him even if we never have our own children. Help us both together to love you with all of our hearts. Amen.
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1 comment:
Jessica, I am so blessed by your honesty. Thank you for being willing to be honest and vulnerable with us. I ache so much for you and the others. I am praying that one day soon YOU will be making the announcement.
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