Today I was talking to my husband about how I feel super bummed right now because I really believe I heard an audible clear voice from God saying this was our month to conceive...and he said honey what changed your mind, why are you so bummed, your period isn't even due until Thursday...which is in 5ish days. A test isn't even positive for most people until then anyways...and I tested on 7 dpo, 8 dpo and 9dpo...and of course its going to be negative...
I wanted to talk about IUI and adoption and just other options, and my husband said no ...we will only talk about these things if you get your period because I still very much believe that you are pregnant right now and just don't know it yet.
I hope this gives you insight into my faith...I'm either super hot or super cold...I don't have alot of inbetween. There are moments even days when I very much believe that my God can move this mountain of infertility and that He is doing so right now...and other moments, like right now that I want to curl up in a ball ...in my pj's, under a blankent and just cry into my pillow...
My family says, "you have to wait on God's timing." and I know this...but this time I heard him say NOW and I don't have any "symptoms" now so thats freaking me out...plus I wanted the pee stick to be positive at 9 days past ovulation...when I have a 14 day lutal phase...
Lord please help me to trust you especially when I can't see whats going on. Help me not to worry about what if when I don't even know what tommorow will bring yet.
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I know this is such a hard thing. I feel this pain too. I am praying for you, Jessica, that the Lord would give you much peace in knowing that your whole life and all of your days are in His hands. None of it is an oversight and none of it is because He doesn't care about you. To the contrary, He uses ALL of it for your good--that you may have more joy IN HIM (which is the deepest & greatest joy there is) and that you may be conformed to the image of Jesus. God is for you. Love, Bina
Romans 8:26-31 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. 29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. 30 And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.
Praying for you no matter what God's answer is this month!
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